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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Pennies from "not quite" heaven

I think I should get my eyes checked as a misreading of the online weather forecast last week cost me FIFTY CENTS! I really did read the sunrise time here as 4:30 AM and sunset about 4:45 PM. Friends at coffee told me, “no way!” But I persisted. Finally, one friend asked if I wanted to make a bet on it. Since I was so sure I’d read correctly, I was all set to wager $5.00. Oh, geesh. That really wasn’t so smart, considering the most I’ve ever made by gambling of any kind is about $30 from a penny slot machine at a casino. Luckily, this friend suggested $.50. So, I went with that.

After checking a couple of online weather sites, I discovered that I had indeed read the times wrong – way wrong. So, I bit the proverbial bullet and asked my mother to take a quarter to my friend the next day since I wouldn’t be able to go. She did  that but returned with the news that he wanted to know where the rest of his money was. Since we had kidded around by email a little, I knew he was just continuing the kidding. So, I decided to repay the rest in a little more interesting way.

Okay. I don’t normally watch a lot of television. However, while watching Rachel Maddow’s news show on MSNBC, I cut a piece of white tissue paper into small squares, dug out the tape, and rounded up 25 pennies. During the show, I wrapped each penny in a piece of paper, taping each package closed with a tiny piece of tape. I then found a sample box of toothpaste, removed the tube, and dropped each little penny package into the box. After wrapping the box of pennies with more tissue paper, I stuck on lots of little wild animal stickers and included a quote about wagering by Ralph Waldo Emerson. And waited for two days until coffee yesterday morning.

When I presented him with the rest of his “earnings,” the look on his face was almost priceless. He read the quote and checked out the stickers. He shook the box. Everyone else watched in rapt fascination as he pulled out his pocket knife and deftly and carefully slit open one end of the wrapping paper, saving the rest of the paper and the stickers. He then opened the box and dumped the contents onto the table – all 25 individually-wrapped pennies, each one looking, as my mother thought, like small pieces of white candy.

We waited. We laughed. We wondered if he would indeed unwrap each or even any of the little packages.

With his knife, he slit the tape on the first package, carefully unfolded the tissue paper from around its content, and let the first penny slide to the table. Oh, first he checked the date of the coin to make sure it wasn’t valuable.

We waited. He then proceeded to do the exact same thing with each little package, tossing the unfolded paper to another friend who likes to collect pieces of trash and paper cups from the table and throw them away each morning. It gives him something to do.

When each penny had been unwrapped, it was time for a count. Somehow he counted only 24 pennies. Oh, oh. Did I make a mistake and only wrap 24 coins? Finally, someone found a penny on the floor so I was safe. Good thing, too. Who knows how I would have presented ONE PENNY to him the next day. Oh, the possibilities are endless.

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I think it’s amazing what the change of one letter can do sometimes.

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